Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
vagina is talking i cant
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
