peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize