You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
