am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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