It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Success! We fucked roommates!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
