I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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