Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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