yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize