We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
