yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
