Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
