my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize