Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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