Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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