Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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