i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
