I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
