the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
