I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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