In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
