he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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