I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
