I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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