I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
