Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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