Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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