oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
