capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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