Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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