I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
