He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
