Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
