I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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