just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
