as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
