Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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