Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
