I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
if i can run in heels then i can drive
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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