why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
How external is "for external use only"?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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