he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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