i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
last night I used snow as a chaser
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