that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
