Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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