He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
