You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
