He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize