Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
should my penis look like a turkey
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
