Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
