he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
