Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
