why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
