that's an acceptable place to lick
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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