He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
