yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
