Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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