Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
bring money and cleavage
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
