so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize