I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
