I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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