So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize