When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
