my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
