I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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