The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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