yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
