I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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