You're so nebulous sometimes
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
