i just google imaged poop.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
